8 reasons people call me

So the other night I went to see "The Mummy 3: Tomb of the Dragon Emperor," or at least I think that's what its called. Anyway Brenden, Marcos, and Jeanie apparently really wanted to hang out with me, because they called me 30 times and filled up my voicemail box. Here's some of the reason's people want to hang out with me.

"Oh Ted help me, 

I accicently travelled back in time to the prehistoric times. I'm afraid I'm going to be devoured by dinosaurs very quickly. You're my only hope, you're the only person I can get through to. Give me a call, for the love of God, I need to get back to the present time which is the future for me. Give me a call, bye."

-Brenden McBrayer

"Hey Ted, 

Its Brenden again. I accidentally drank a cup of human blood and I'm afraid I'm going to turn into a vampire. I really just need someone to hold my hand through this. Go ahead and give me a call back if you can. I don't want to wait 'til sunlight."

-Brenden McBrayer

"Hey Ted, 

I just got a letter in the mail from the maker, the inventor, of string cheese, and apparently he's suing me, I'm stuck in a law suit with him. He says that I ripped him off in some way. I don't remember trying to say that I invented string cheese. But if you could give me a call back that would be good, I could use the legal advice. All right, thanks a lot brother, bye."

-Brenden McBrayer

"Hey Ted,

Its Brenden. I accidentally killed Michael J. Fox and I need somebody to help me bury the body. If you could just give me a call back that would be appreciated, bye."

-Brenden McBrayer

"Hey Ted,

Its Brenden. I just successfully cloned a wooly mammoth. I don't know what to feed it though. If you could go with me down to Petsmart or something like that it would be much appreciated. All right, call me back brother, bye."

-Brenden McBrayer

"Hey Ted,

  I just got hit by a meteorite and I seem to have gained super-powers. I'm afraid that a super-villian is not far behind. If you could give me a call and maybe we could work on this together. I need a costume, I need a cape, I need a superhero name... I need some sort of secret identity. So if you could give me a call back with that it would be much appreciated. All right, thank you brother."

-Brenden McBrayer

"Hey Ted, 

Its Brenden. I just bought an RV and I'm gonna go to Indianapolis this weekend, I was hoping you would come with me. Anyways I'll call you later, bye."

-Brenden McBrayer

"Hey Ted, 

Its Brenden. I'm stuck in a copy of Moby Dick in the downtown municipal library. Its kinda like that movie Pagemaster with Macaulay Culkin. I have a copy of Catcher in the Rye with me, and he's trying to help me escape. But it would really help if you would go downtown and rent that copy of that book so that someone doesn't take me home. It would be much appreciated. All right, thanks a lot brother, bye."

-Brenden McBrayer